One of you wants more. One of you wants it different.
Desire discrepancy is the most common reason couples land in sex therapy. It's also the one most couples try to solve by either pushing or shutting down — both of which make it worse.
This list isn't a diagnostic. It's language. If you recognize yourself in one of them, the work is available.
We stop treating desire as a fixed trait and start treating it like what it is: context-dependent, nervous-system-level, and deeply tied to everything else in the relationship.
For the higher-desire partner, we work on what desire is actually asking for — closeness, validation, play, reassurance — and how to get those in more than one way.
For the lower-desire partner, we look at what's in the way. Responsive desire, body changes, fatigue, resentment, trauma, a partner who only touches you when they want sex — all real, all addressable.
Couples who do this work usually stop fighting about frequency within a handful of sessions and start having better sex, less often or more often, but voluntarily on both sides.
Desire discrepancy, avoidance, shame, body stuff, the aftermath of religion or purity culture — we go where weekly therapy usually doesn't.
A 20-minute consultation is free. It exists for one reason: to make sure this is the right fit before either of us commits.
replies within 48 hrs — honest, first.