Recommended
The shelf, the bedside drawer,
the things we actually recommend.
Books, decks, intimacy products, and tools that come up in this practice often enough to put in writing. No filler, no drop-shipped gadgets, no “wellness” theater. If it’s here, it’s because it has earned its place in the work.
A note on the links
Some of the links on this page are affiliate links — meaning if you buy something through them, we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. We only include products we already recommend in session. We don’t accept paid placements, and the curation isn’t for sale. If a product stops being something we’d recommend, it comes off the shelf.
The shelf we keep recommending.
Read
Every one of these has shifted how a client in this practice thought about themselves, sex, or their relationship. Start with the one whose title makes you flinch a little — that's usually where the work is.
Book
Come As You Are
Emily Nagoski, PhD
If you have a body and have ever been confused by it, start here. The single most-recommended book in this practice for women, desire, and the dual-control model of arousal.
Book · paperbackAffiliate link
or buy on Amazon Book
The 9 Lives of Woman: Sensual, Sexual and Reproductive Stages from Birth to 100
C. M. Mason
What if every stage of a woman’s life—from early girlhood all the way to elderhood—was met with celebration, clarity, and empowerment? The Nine Lives of Woman reimagines the traditional three-stage archetype by mapping out nine distinct phases of the female experience, from the foundations laid in childhood and adolescence to the vibrant potential of post-menopausal years and beyond.
BookAffiliate link
Book
Desire
A radically inclusive, sex-positive guide to managing the inevitable libido differences in our relationships, authored by two certified sex therapists who are passionate about good sex.
PaperbackAffiliate link
or buy on Amazon Decks and journals that pay their rent.
Tools for the Work
Most decks and journals are vibes. These are the few we recommend because they actually move the work forward between sessions — structure for couples who don't know where to start, paper for clients who forget the session by the time they reach the parking lot.
Deck
Intimacy Deck
BestSelf Co.
Conversation cards built for couples reopening the conversations that stopped happening. Helpful for partners who want to talk about what they want — without it being a sex talk first.
Card deck · ~$27Visit
or buy on Amazon Tool
The Therapy Journal
Therapy Notebooks
A guided reflection space designed to hold what came up in session so it doesn't evaporate by Thursday. The one we recommend for clients who say 'I forget everything we talk about by the time I leave the parking lot.'
Notebook · therapist pickVisit
Tool
The Anti-Anxiety Notebook
Therapy Notebooks
CBT-structured prompts for the spiral that shows up at 11 p.m. when you're pretending to fall asleep. Useful between sessions, especially for the partner who 'doesn't journal.'
Notebook · CBT-basedVisit
or buy on Amazon App
After Eden App
A private app for unlearning religious body shame. Built by a licensed therapist.
Affiliate link
or buy on Amazon Brands we trust to be in your bedside drawer.
Intimacy Wellness
Curated for design, ingredient transparency, and a tone that treats women as full adults. We don't list anything we wouldn't be comfortable mentioning in session.
Tool
Pom Vibrator - Plum | Flexible Palm Clitoral Massager
Pom is a flexible massager that snuggles close, bends, and moves with you for ultimate control.
ToyAffiliate link
Tool
Lava Lube Personal Lubricant
Experience luxury with our smooth, pleasurable lubricant that is condom compatible and designed to enhance your experience without interfering with your body’s natural chemistry. Preservative, dye and fragrance free for your ultimate comfort. Not intended for use with silicone sex toys.
LubeAffiliate link
or buy on Amazon Tool
OhNut Depth-Limiting Rings CODE: WOOHOO for 20%
You control how much goes in! Explore your favorite positions and experience deep penetration without sacrificing sensation for either of you. With 4 stretchy, stackable rings that go around the base of the penetrating partner—you can customize how deep you want to go. Now you can breathe easy and just focus on what matters most—each other
Wellness brandAffiliate link
or buy on Amazon What we wish someone had handed you at the hospital.
Postpartum
Six-week checkups do not cover the relational, identity, or intimacy fallout of bringing a baby home. These are the products and books we recommend for the parts no one warned you about.
Wellness
Bodily Postpartum Essentials
Bodily
Garments and recovery products designed by people who've been through it. The C-section recovery line in particular is one we recommend to clients.
Postpartum apparel + careVisit
or buy on Amazon Book
And Now We Have Everything
Meaghan O'Connell
The honest postpartum memoir we hand to partners as much as to clients. If you're looking for a book that says 'this happened to me too,' this is it.
Book · paperbackAffiliate link
or buy on Amazon Sleep, regulation, and the boring infrastructure of feeling like a person.
Nervous System
Most of what shows up as a 'relationship problem' is also a regulation problem. These are the tools we recommend when sleep, stress, or sensory overwhelm are quietly running the show.
Tool
Hatch Restore
Hatch
Sunrise alarm + sound machine + dim reading light. The single highest-leverage purchase we recommend for couples whose phones live on the nightstand.
Sleep techAffiliate link
or buy on Amazon Tool
Loftie Clock
Loftie
Two-phase alarm and a real reason to charge your phone in the other room. Small change, surprisingly large effect on the first hour of the day together.
Sleep techVisit
or buy on Amazon The thing none of these can do
A book can name it.
Therapy is where it actually changes.
Reading is a great place to start — and a terrible place to stop. If something on this page is naming a pattern you’ve been circling for a while, that’s usually the signal that it’s time to bring it into a room.
start where it stings.
Free guide
Before you buy another book — take the Intimacy Audit.
Twelve questions that point you at the part of the relationship most likely to be quietly running everything else. Free, to your inbox.
free
Ready?
Take the first step — that’s usually the hardest part.
A 20-minute consultation is free. It exists for one reason: to make sure this is the right fit before either of us commits.
replies within 48 hrs — honest, first.